Saturday, September 8, 2007

"A Longer Road"

It's been a long time since I wrote anything — I know, but I really hate writing unpleasant stuff, so I kept waiting for everything to get better. I thought each day would bring small improvements, and I could write and tell you about how well I'm doing. Well, yesterday was about the bottom of the barrel and I thought I should just spit it all out! Maybe it will make me feel better (I hope it doesn't bum you out!)

As I said, I kept waiting for things to get better, but things kept getting a little worse: I kept getting weaker and more exhausted; my right leg is clumsy and my balance is off. The steroids have made me chipmunk-cheeked and fat! Yuch! But I'm almost done — one more week to go. The good thing is that as I've reduced the dosage my appetite has diminished, so I'm losing a little weight, yea! Most of that stuff was to be expected, all part of the treatment and steroid usage. But some other things have cropped up that we're not so sure of. Within about a week my vision went all blurry, like I'm trying to look through eyeglasses that are 10 years old. And my peripheral vision is doubled. My muscles are trembling and twitching, and I'm still having devastating episodes of sweating, totally drenched! I also started getting very dizzy when I get up. I have to be very careful to get up slowly so I don't keel over. I can barely manage to get up and get to the bathroom or kitchen. I have to sit down and it takes all my strength to get back up again. Some days are better than others, and on the good days I try to at least wash a few dishes to pick up some clutter. Still, George has become housekeeper, chef, chauffeur, nursemaid, and bright light in my life, on top of all of the other things he does!

Dr. Beyerl (the neurosurgeon) sent me to see a top neurologist, who is wonderful! She checked me over yesterday and is concerned about the whole constellation of stuff that is going on, so I'm going for mega testing. Sleep study, 24-hour EKG, visual evoked potentials, tilt test, 2 more MRI's, a gizillion blood tests, and I have to go see a neuro-opthomologist — my eyes aren't moving right and they're not supposed to be moving the way they are, something about the 6th cranial nerve!

Dr. Alexianu said it could be (of all things I didn't expect) an autoimmune response — possibly my old nemesis, Lupis, or some other manifestation of an autoimmune response. We had an EMG test done that showed that I have some peripheral neuropathy in my legs, and she said that you can also have nerve damage to sympathetic nerves (or are they unsympathetic? don't seem terribly sympathetic at the moment), anyway, the nerves that work all by themselves — you don't have any control over them, like the nerves that are causing me to sweat like a hog! She said I could have damage from diabetes, even though I have never had bad blood sugars and it seemed to be under control with a pill.

Most of these tests have to be done up north, in Morristown or Summit. That makes it extremely hard on George. He only gets one day off a week right now, and spending 6 hours driving and more waiting around for me is taking its toll on him — and he should be worrying about and treating his Crohn's now. He was supposed to start treatment with Humira, but the pharmacy screwed up and got the wrong application and he had to wait.

So, yesterday was really a scary day. I thought finding out about and treating a brain tumor would be one of the scariest things you could have to deal with, and I thought I was doing so well with that! But yesterday it felt like I was starting on a whole new ordeal, and I don't have any idea where this journey will lead. Whatever is happening is not directly related to the brain tumor, so what is it? Why is it happening? How much worse will it get? Having an answer, a brain tumor, was much easier than once again not knowing! There is so much to do, and I feel so helpless right now. I hate being totally dependent on George — he already does so much and I worry like crazy about him.

Today I took stock and started putting one foot in front of the other, did what I could and let go the rest. It's all I can do. Keep my chin up, try to keep smiling.

So, there's the bad stuff. I hope I didn't totally depress you, I'm trying hard not to be depressed. But, my goodness, it certainly is a longer road. Next time I write we'll hope for some GOOD news! Send me an E-mail or give me a call! It would be good to hear from you.

Lots of Love,

Chris

Back to Home Page

To the soul, there is hardly anything more healing than friendship. Thomas Moore (1779 - 1852)

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature ~ the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter. Rachel Carson (1907 - 1964)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"Friends"

Hi Everyone! There are a lot more "everyones" than I thought! A bunch of friends found out about the web site and have been following along. I'm a bit embarrassed! I didn't think anything I had to say would be that interesting to anyone but family! And, good grief, I'm telling everybody about getting stinky and taking a bath! But thank you all for caring and taking the time to read my rambling!

I'm doing well, I'm just annoyed that I still have to take prednisone, which makes me weak, and hungry, which makes me fat! But fat and happy! George and I make a cute couple — he's as skinny as a rail and I'm as fat as a house (I said that to him, and he said, "Nah, just a shed!") We planted some beautiful pink cosmos and some deep blue lobelia in the garden today. It looks so lovely! The garden is getting more beautiful every year. George spends time almost every day planting this and moving that and trimming here and feeding there. Any of you who can must come and visit the garden this summer! It is my peaceful place.

And now for the most uplifting news in this whole journal. We went to a gathering of our "birding" friends on Thursday night. They are the best people I could ever imagine knowing. They're intelligent, and interesting, and kind, and fun! George is out birding just about every day, and sees most of them pretty regularly. I, on the other hand, am a certified hermit! Everyone knows that it takes a crowbar to pry me out of the house, especially early in the morning, which is usually when I'm just falling asleep. Even though most of our friends don't see me that often, they opened their hearts to support us through this experience. It was wonderful to see everybody Thursday night, and I'm so sorry we missed some of you! I hope to see you all soon.

This all came about because Bill and Edie Schuhl and Patty Rourke contacted the whole crowd and asked if they could contribute to a fund to help us with the costs of my treatment. The response was overwhelming. Bill & Edie and Patty gave us a beautiful booklet with a list of all of the incredible friends that contributed, and a Guest Book signed by everyone who came to the gathering Thursday night to show their support, and an unbelievably generous check that will help pay for a good portion of the doctor bills and expenses that we've had. I cried like a baby when I opened everything, and there are tears in my eyes again now. I can't begin to express how I feel — so grateful and touched and humbled. Thank you all so much.

We may be poor in money, but we are rich in friends, who are more valuable to us than all the wealth in the world. We love you.

Chris & George

Back to Home Page

To the soul, there is hardly anything more healing than friendship. Thomas Moore (1779 - 1852)

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature ~ the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter. Rachel Carson (1907 - 1964)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

"The Radiation of Chris — Part Four"

I did not want to write this one! So I'll make the unhappy part short and (not so) sweet. I just got pretty sick for a couple of days. I had a headache, but that wasn't too bad. I felt dizzy, and fuzzy, with lots of zapping going on in my head, and nauseated, so I really wasn't able to eat anything, including medicine. That started on Friday and Saturday, and was worst Sunday and Monday — I couldn't keep anything down. I called the doctor on Monday, and they had me restart the prednisone, which is very rough on your stomach, so getting it to stay where it was supposed to be was a problem, but I finally managed! And that started to get everything back under control. But I was hardly able to get out of bed for a few days. I kept getting the sweats, and then I'd get freezing cold. I jacked the heat up in my room and George said it was like a sauna. Yesterday I was able to eat some toast — yippee! Today it was toast and eggs! Yum Yum Yum. Best of all, last night I was finally able to take a bath (you would not have wanted to visit me by the time last night rolled around! Whew!) I haven't taken a bath in years — strictly a shower person, that's me. I hate baths! I mean, what's the point? You're dirty, you get into clean water, the water gets dirty, so now you're sitting in dirty water and the dirt gets back on you . . . And it's either too cold or too hot, and getting in and out of the damn thing is really hard! I did take the shower head and shower the residue off so I felt nice and clean.

So, today I feel MUCH better! Still weak and shaky, but I think Fred has given up the fight! And I just got on the scale, and I lost 10 pounds since I was at the doctor's office last week! Lousy way to do it, but nice bonus for going through a couple of bad days.

I talked to my friend, Sharon, yesterday, and I realized that I had barely mentioned the birds we saw when we were in north Jersey. First — Sharon told me that they had seen a red-headed woodpecker at our local park, and their friends saw a pair! We really hope they're breeding there. And they saw chestnut-sided warblers, which we hadn't seen yet this year. Same park that had the owls. It's a great place. Hopefully I can go for a short walk tomorrow.

When we got to our new hotel last Monday night we had about an hour to spare before we had to get ready for dinner with our friends, so we drove over to Scherman-Hoffman Sanctuaries (where I used to work) for a quick visit. We both really wanted to see Pileated Woodpeckers and they are known to be on the property. We walked for a few minutes down the parking lot, and we heard one drumming! As we searched for it a Downy Woodpecker flew in, and George said that was what was doing the pounding, but it's too small to make that much noise! So we walked a little more, and suddenly this BIG bird flew into a nearby tree, and it was a Pileated! They are incredible! Size:16-19 in. Wingspan: 26-30 in. Weight: 250-350 g (8.83-12.36 ounces) Mission accomplished! We got back with plenty of time to spare before dinner! George saw one again Tuesday morning.

And the very first day we were up north and, where else, in the swamp, we were sitting in the car looking at the heron rookery, and I heard this weird noise. At first I thought it was someone's car radio, with the bass booming, but I heard it again, and it was an American Bittern calling! I was so surprised because it was the middle of the day, and they usually call at night. It is a weird sound! I tried to copy the sound file here so you could hear, but I don't know how to do it and George is asleep! So here is a link to a website where you can listen to it. American Bittern. It is such a cool sound, you just have to listen to it!

The last day we were there we just drove along Pleasant Plains Road in the swamp, and we heard lots of bird songs, so we got out of the car and walked a little ways down the road. There were birds everywhere! During our whole visit there were Black-throated Green warblers, Blue-winged Warblers, Black-and-white Warblers, American Redstart, Ovenbird, Yellow Warblers, Yellow-rumped Warblers, Palm, Pine, and Prairie Warblers, Wood Thrushes, Hermit Thrushes, American Kestrel, Broad-winged Hawk, Cooper's Hawk, Red-tailed Hawk, Turkey and Black Vultures, Wood Ducks, Barn Swallows, Tree Swallows, Rough-winged Swallows, Phoebes, Black-capped Chickadee, Yellow-throated Vireo, Ruby-throated Kinglets, Bluebirds, Great Blue Herons, Blue-Gray Gnatcatchers, Kingfishers, as well as all of the regular birds. The one thing we didn't see, and George was definitely getting withdrawal symptoms, was any kind of gull! We're so used to them here, it was strange not to see a single one the whole time we were up there.

Our migration here has been very slow so far this spring. It has been pretty cold, and we haven't had any westerly winds, which we need to push the birds migrating north toward the coast. George is afraid the migration has passed us by, but I think it's just late. There's still time to get good migration days. Our pond is clean and the waterfall is running over the rocks. The mister is spritzing onto the bushes over the pond so that the water drips steadily into the pond. The birds absolutely love it! They drink and bathe and flutter their wings in delight! (I know how good a nice shower feels!) So the birds will be here — we just have to be a little patient.

Here's an odd thing. We have had our hummingbirds back since before we went north (Ha! we migrated!). But last night I heard a hummingbird outside my window, where our coral honeysuckle climbs on two trellises, at 8:30 pm! It was pitch dark, and they are usually gone by sundown. I wondered if the bird was roosting for the night in the honeysuckle. I have to try to listen for it again to see if maybe that's the case. This picture is from last year. I swear the honeysuckle is twice as big this year. We have to get clips for the vinyl siding to hold the trellises up!

Sorry, nonbirding friends and family, for putting you through all of this bird talk. It just makes me happy, so I hope you'll excuse my boring you with it.

So, once again, I'm back on the road to recovery. No permanent side-effects. I see the neurosurgeon for my follow-up on May 29th, but I'm sure that will just be a quick checkup. My friend, Tracie, from Austin, Texas, asked me if my prognosis is really good or am I just a really positive person? Oh Yes! I'm totally an optimist, but the prognosis is truly good. I'm not the least bit worried. (Hi Tracie!) But I'm hungry! Peanut butter on toast sounds heavenly! So bye for now! Love you all!

Chris

Back to Home Page

Thursday, May 3, 2007

"The Radiation of Chris — Part Three"

I was so happy about how I was doing after the first 3 treatments, but I think I had my expectations a bit too high. Over the weekend I was very tired, but I thought that was because we went birding every day, and visited at night, and I didn't sleep much during the first 3 days of treatment. I thought if I rested over the weekend I would be back to normal. Well, the treatments Monday and Tuesday finally had an effect on me — which is great because it means they're working! But, whew! Knocked my socks off!

Monday I had a little bit of a headache and felt a little unsteady, but not bad at all! That night we met my ex–husband, Billy Baker and his girlfriend, Pat, and my two best old friends from when I lived in Parsippany, Richard and Ed. Oh how wonderful it was to see them! We haven't kept in touch, but it seemed like we hadn't been apart at all. We reminisced for hours and vowed to keep in touch more. They are so much fun, we have to try to visit them as often as we can. Love you guys!

Tuesday morning I was wiped out! I felt like someone pulled the plug on the energy circuit, and stuffed my head with mush. George went out birding at about 7 am, and I stayed in the room and rested. We checked out around 10 o'clock and went to the swamp for more birding since we had several hours to kill. We had a wonderful time! I absolutely LOVE the Great Swamp! Lots of snakes and turtles and frogs and birds and all kinds of incredible critters. We mostly drove from spot to spot, so I didn't do much walking, which was just what I needed. Then off for treatment at 2 pm. We had to wait a while for my treatment, but it went fine. We got on the road about 4 pm and sailed home so happy that the whole ordeal was over! I changed my clothes, popped into bed and wish I could have stayed there for a few days. But . . .

I had to get up Wednesday morning first thing and go to my doctor down here! Which is a real pain in the butt because he doesn't make appointments — it's first come first served, and you usually end up waiting 2 to 3 hours to see him. So I signed in at 8:30 am and begged the nurse to let me go home and have her call me when they were ready to see me. I went back at 11 and saw him. He was being very weird — barely asked me anything about how the radiation went. He wrote me my prescriptions and that was that. George says I have to find a better doctor down here, and I finally think he's right, I really have to find someone who is more proactive about my care.

Anyway, then I had to go get my prescriptions. Here comes a rant, so skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to hear it. I have to take a pain medicine that is a narcotic, which means I have to have a written script every month, which means I have to see the doctor, every month. I'm supposed to have the prescription filled at the same pharmacy, but for some reason this drug is hard to get because of some law suit over the right to produce a generic. Anyway, my pharmacy didn't have it. So I called around to find another pharmacy. When I got there and told them what was going on, they refused to fill the prescription! It was a few days early because I had had to take a few extra during my treatment, and the pharmacist had to call the insurance company so they could put it through. They refused! So I totally lost it. They treated me like a drug addict, showed absolutely no compassion, just wanted to rush a problem out the door. I just broke down and cried like a baby right there in the store. I was so frustrated. This has happened over and over again. I don't know what they think I'm going to do with the damn drug. Do I look like I stand on street corners selling narcotics? I was such a mess, my head was so splintered, I was so unsteady, I don't know how I got out to the car. I sat in the car for 15 minutes trying to remember the name "Shop Rite!" All I could remember was "RiteAid." Finally it came to me and I called the Shop Rite where a friend of ours works and they said to come over. Even though our friend was off, the other pharmacist filled the script and apologized for making me wait 15 minutes! The other pharmacy didn't bother to ask if I was OK? Did I need a glass of water? Could they call someone for me? Or just give me a pat on the back. They labeled me a problem, refused to help me in any way, practically pushed me toward the door and then totally ignored me. This was a CVS. When I feel better there are a bunch of letters going to CVS, newspapers, representatives — I'm so mad I might just make up a picket sign and go march up and down in front of the store. Assholes!

Okay, end of rant! So I feel good! Just fuzzy and tired. The radiation oncologist told me Monday and Tuesday that I had to take it easy because even if I didn't feel it, there is a lot of inflammation going on in the old brain right now. And I do feel it now. It's a funny feeling — like my circuits got scrambled. Like those little electrical zaps of thought are getting detoured and don't quite know where to go. Nothing a couple of days lazing around won't cure. It's spring! The weather is beautiful! The birds are migrating, the garden is growing. Life is good!

Well, this part of the saga is drawing to a close. I guess I'll update the page here and there just to keep the story straight, but I don't have to have another MRI for six months – they don't expect to see much change before that. Hopefully at that time the MRI will show that Fred has shrunk. Then we just keep an eye on it every six months or so. So much for the saga of the brain tumor! Thank you, everyone, for being there for me. It really means so much to know that family and friends care and send their strength and love. I've gotten much better at keeping in touch through E–mail, so let's make sure we all write! I don't want to hear two years after the fact that any of you went through a rough time and never let anyone know!!! (Jeff! I'm calling you tomorrow!)

Bye for now!

Chris

Here is a picture of me at my favorite place in the Great Swamp! It's not a great likeness, but it will do. (This was Tuesday fuzzy–headed morning). I'll get George to take some more.

Back to Home Page

Sunday, April 29, 2007

"The Radiation of Chris — Part Two"

Hi All!

So sorry for the interruption in the saga — I'm fine, but totally ran out of energy!

So, to pick up where we left off — we went back for treatment Thursday, and I was so comfortable and relaxed that I fell asleep on the table. When they came in to get me I wanted to tell them to go away and let me sleep! After treatment we stopped for lunch and then went birding at the Somerset County Environmental Center. It is a beautiful place! Lots of birds (and snakes!), and they have these conveniently placed benches at exactly the places where I wanted one! I would just be running out of energy, and, lo and behold, there would be a bench! Perfect! I told my doctor about visiting the Swamp and he wanted to know more about it so he could take his kids, until I told him about the snakes — his wife can't stand snakes. I told him they were below you under the boardwalk, but I have to work a little harder to get him to go. I'm going to tell him about the Raptor Trust, which is a wonderful rehabilitation facility for hawks, owls and eagles in the swamp. His kids will love it, and no snakes!

After birding we headed over to Michelle and Norman's (my niece and nephew–in–law), and had the most wonderful reunion. We figured out that I hadn't seen them for 8 years! I can't believe it was that long. Michelle is absolutely beautiful, Emma and Hannah are wonderful babies, and I'm so proud of Norman! He's doing so well and they have made such a beautiful home for their family! We looked at pictures of the family (Eric, I didn't recognize you!), and had some time to catch up and visit. Michelle made a delectable dinner and dessert, and by then we were both getting tired, so we said a tearful goodbye, and headed back to our "Inn."

It rained cats and dogs in the middle of the night, and poor George woke up with the ceiling falling down on his bed! He kept throwing chunks of wet paint onto the floor so it was littered with paint chips in the morning —not a great night's sleep, but we got the room for free. While we were in Bernardsville during the day earlier we had passed the Old Mill Inn and succumbed to temptation and booked a room there for Monday night instead of at the "Inn from Hell." So at least we know we will be comfortable Monday night (the Old Mill "Inn" really is beautiful!). And since we didn't have to pay for Thursday's room, it all works out the same!

So, Friday it was pouring rain when we checked out of hell–house, and we went for a great big country breakfast at the local diner, and then off for treatment. It was kind of fun traveling on all of the old roads I knew so well when I lived there. I got a little turned around on some of the back roads, but it was fun to sight–see. Mostly things look much the same — much more traffic everywhere, though. Treatment was a snap — fell asleep again. And we left for home about 12 noon in the pouring rain. Besides some traffic on Rt. 78, we had a good trip home, and it was so nice to see the kitties again! Nisse came right out and said hello, Smokey hid behind my bed for a few minutes until George coaxed him out, and Athena and Diana hid until they were sure we were the right humans in their house.

We got settled in and unpacked, a little, and I've sort of been conked out ever since! George has been up at dawn for bird walks and working each day. I feel bad, since I've been vegging and he's been working so hard .He is so good, I love him to pieces! Tonight we'll pack up again and get back on the road tomorrow at about 10 am. Treatment at 2 pm. Then we have dinner planned with a bunch of my old friends at our Inn. That should be a lot of fun! Since we're staying in Bernardsville, George can get up at the crack of dawn Tuesday and go birding at his choice of 3 beautiful places within minutes of the Inn, and I can sleep late! Then my last treatment Tuesday and I'm done! I have to go back to the neurosurgeon in 3 weeks for a checkup, and then periodic MRI's to make sure Fred is really dead, but this whole thing could hardly have been easier! The hardest part of having a brain tumor was traveling to New York City to a doctor who was a jerk — the only bad apple in all of the people we've dealt with, really. As long as Fred got zapped according to plans, that should be that!

Okay, that's enough blather! I'll write again when we're done, unless something eventful comes up before then. Hope you are all well and happy! Michelle, Norman, Emma and Hannah, lots of hugs and thank you again for a wonderful night. We love you so much! And Mike, it was really good to talk to you! We will work on planning a trip, somehow!

Love to everyone!

Chris

Back to Home Page

Wednesday, April 24, 2007

"The Radiation of Chris — Part One"

Today was THE day! We left Cape May at about 7:30 am and headed up the Parkway. The ride went fine, and we arrived at the hospital at about 10:40 and checked in. There were some folks in the waiting room that we got to chatting with, and 2 of them said that they were there for 25–day stretches of radiation treatments (not CyberKnike, traditional radiation)! Holy Cow! I can't even imagine that — 25 days away from home, holed up in a hotel, no kitties, take–out food, yuch! crummy beds and terrible pillows! (I'm really glad the "hotel" we're in is rated 3 ***'s, because I can't imagine what 2 **'s would be like. We passed a Marriott on the way here, 2 doors down before our "hotel," and I definitely have "hotel envy.")

Anyway, I waited about 15 minutes and then they came to get me. My first in –person view of the CyberKnife monster, and it is monstrous! The head of the thing, the part that travels around your head, is about 6 feet long. This picture makes it look a lot less imposing than when you're the one on the table!

So I lie down and they position the mask over my face and screw me in place — pretty freaky feeling. I had brought a CD of my favorite music and they put that on, and then they left the room. The table positions you just exactly correctly, and then the CK starts slowly circling your head, inches from your face, like a giant microscope peering into every pore and every thought, but you know that it's zapping your tumor with high doses of radiation with every movement. They had given me a dose of Valium before treatment, and the music was really soothing, and I just relaxed into it. Nothing hurt, it wasn't loud, I was perfectly comfortable, I almost fell asleep! Before I knew it the technician came in and said "That's it! All done!" It had only been about 45 minutes, and they had said to expect an hour, but because I had been very still it didn't have to take time to reposition a lot. The covering doctor checked me out and gave me the "OK", and we were out of there. They said I could get a minor headache, but I haven't felt so much as a twinge.

We went birding for a while, which did tire me out so I conked out when we got to our room, but I feel just fine! Very relieved and nervousness gone. Four more to go! Chant, "FRED IS DEAD, FRED IS DEAD, FRED IS DEAD . . . . . ."

More tomorrow, if I can.

Love You Tons!

Chris

Back to Home Page

Monday, April 23, 2007

Hi All!

Well, we're back to the usual expression of Murphy's Law in my life! I called the girl who does the scheduling for radiation Thursday to find out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! No call back. She did call back Friday morning and said, "Hi, (real cheery), what can I do for you? YOU CAN SCHEDULE MY DAMN RADIATION, THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO, but I really said "Can you tell me if there's any progress on scheduling my treatment?" And she said, "Well, let me just check to see if Dr. Beyerle has been in yet — no, I don't see that he has been." Me — What does that mean as far as getting this scheduled no later than 4/30? Her — Oh no, it won't happen THAT quickly, I'd say the week of May 7th, or possibly the 14th. She says, I just found out that Dr. Schwartz is going on VACATION next week. Okay, that means that every one of my doctors has gone on vacation at EXACTLY the wrong time.

So I scream NO NO NO, YOU IDIOT! WE CAN'T COME THEN! Well, I left out the "you idiot." We can't drop George's work and obligations for the World Series and Spring Weekend, and my obligations for work during those 2 weeks. We will have to put it off until June. And she says, and I want to kill her, "Well, it's your brain and health. If you want to wait that long, that's up to you." OH, eat shit and die! She says to call Dr. Beyerle's office and get back to her. So I call Dr. Beyerle, and his secretary, "Sakina", great name, says, don't worry, we'll take care of it. You should be treated sooner rather than later. Duh.

So, I wait . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and she doesn't call back. The weekend. Now we KNOW it won't be sooner than 4/30, if then. So, Monday arrives and I'm trying to sleep. The damn phone rings, and it's Sakina. Okay, she says. Get a pen and paper. So I do. And she says, your treatment will start THIS WEDNESDAY at 11 am, and continue Thurs. and Fri. at the same time. Then you will come back Monday and Tuesday at 2 pm. Oh shit! Panic! Too much to do! Call George, call work, call friends for cats, call hotel, call Michelle, call friends up north, do laundry, clean house (at least clear a path to kitty litter box and cat food), cancel walk and dinner with Bill, get Margie and John over to meet cats and go over kitty pampering, get my prescriptions filled, etc., etc., etc.

So, that's the latest. We're off to see the wizard this Wednesday. Chant in unison, "FRED IS DEAD, FRED IS DEAD, FRED IS DEAD!" Yesssssss!

Oh, our hotel has wireless Internet connections, so we'll have our computers, and I'll try to give you a running review of "The Radiation of Chris" as it goes along.

Love You All!

Chris

Back to Home Page

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

We're still waiting to hear from the hospital on the date for my radiation. They told us it would either be 4/23 or 4/30, but since we haven't heard yet, it is surely looking like it will be the later, darn it. Anyway, it will be five consecutive days of radiation, about an hour to an hour and a half each day. Last Friday we went and they made my face mask –– very weird, they put it, like a plastic mesh, over your face wet and hot, and lock it down to a platform so you can't move (sounds like some bizarre sex ritual). You can hardly blink, and the technician sort of pulled up on the part over my nose so I could breath. You can talk, well, sort of mumble since you can't move your jaw very much. As it dries it shrinks a little so it gets even tighter. They also took a CT scan and an MRI. Sometime this week the neurosurgeon, Dr. Beyerle, and radiation oncologist, Dr. Schwartz, get together and plan the treatment. They tell the computer exactly where to place 100 to 160 beams of radiation so that they miss vital structures, like nerves, blood vessels, etc. It's really extremely complicated as they have to determine the exact angle, depth, duration for each of the beams to hit all of the tumor and miss all of the good stuff. I sure hope they have good aim! All I have to do is lie there in my face mask and listen to my favorite music. Not too bad for a "dreaded brain tumor." When you first hear the diagnosis you think, "Oh, shit. I'm a goner." Then they take their sweet time figuring out exactly what and where they think it is and what to do about it. All that time you're wondering, am I gonna live? die? be horribly maimed? And now, when it comes down to it, it's less trouble than a cavity, for Pete's sake! Of course the damn thing could come back, but they said even if it does, it probably wouldn't be for years and years, and then it's very slow growing, so we'll have plenty of time to find the best new treatment. By that time you will probably be able to take a little pill full of nano somethings that will eat the tumor, smooth out your crow's feet, permanently paint your fingernails petunia pink, and increase your sex drive 110%.

So, while we're waiting, we're spring cleaning the house (so we won't be totally embarrassed when our friends come over to take care of the cats) and George is playing in the garden when it's warm enough. It's been so COLD so far this spring that it's hard to get motivated. Next week it will probably be in the 90's with 90 percent humidity.

I've found some new friends, through Meetup.com. I was looking for a non–theist meetup group and found Bill's name and e–mail in a list of people looking for a group. I e–mailed him, and it turns out he is a birder who leads birding tours, has written a book about birding hotspots, and teaches a class in birding at the local high school. He and his wife, Brenda, live in the town next to ours. It's so weird that we have so much in common and never knew about each other or crossed paths. Anyway, we are planning to start a humanist group in the area. I've wanted to do this for so long and I'm really excited to have someone to help get it going.

So, for my first post for you all, this was really a gush! Sorry! I didn't mean to ramble on so when I started writing. I'll try to keep future write–ups a little more concise. Let me know what you think of this method of letting you all know what's going on instead of just e–mailing or calling everybody. For Pete's sake, next thing you know I'll be doing a podcast, or posting a video (except we don't have a video camera).

Bye for now! Drop me a line.

Chris

Here's a picture of the owl family that our friend found in the park down the street. There were 2 babies in the nest with the adult, but once they started "branching," or hopping or taking short flights from branch to branch, we couldn't find the second one. The one in the picture to the right was right over the path where people walked by all the time and never knew the owl was right above their heads looking down on them. Very cool!

Back to Home Page